Dear Thando

My mom wrote in my baby book until I was 21 years old! Extreme right?! My bother and I always used to give her flak for it but looking back now what a labour of love and how amazing to have this stage of our lives documented and for her to be able to tell me when I started teething, first ate solids etc

While looking for baby books for Thando I couldn’t quite find what I was looking for and so decided to do what I’d heard of friends doing and set up an email account for Thando and document his journey by writing him emails that I’ll then give him access to at the appropriate time. 

Now just to have the discipline to remember to write…Dear Thando…

Back to reality

In 3 weeks time I will return to work after 4 months of maternity leave. To say I have mixed feelings is an understatement. On the one hand, the thought of meetings, interviews (I recruit!) and adult conversation excites me but on the other, I’ll no doubt miss my mornings in pj’s with my boy, leisurely strolls around the mall and afternoon naps! Initially the thought of returning to work overwhelmed me to the point that I avoided thinking about it, but since we found the most amazing nanny to look after Thando when I go back, and the fact that she will have been at home with me for 7 weeks prior to my return, I now feel substantially more comfortable as the day approaches. 

No doubt there will be some tears on the day (more from me than him I’m sure) but it will be good to get back to “real life” and the bank balance will appreciate it I’m sure! There is only so much a girl can shop!! 

3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 old house

Nope, we haven’t just popped out two more kids and changed our no-pet policy! It’s a blog (and a great one at that – voted SA’s best parenting blog in 2015) that a friend sent me to read as she (Cindy also!) features mixed race families in the effort to eradicate racism in our country. 

I’m a fairly private person – yes, I write this blog, but I’m pretty certain no one reads it and I’m ok with that! It’s more of a creative outlet or hobbit for me than something I take too seriously so I don’t mind if it’s out there just for me! But I felt somehow compelled to share our story on “3 kids, 2 dogs and an old house” to show people how normal and beautiful mixed race fanilies are. I’m so glad that I made the (conscious and throughly thought through) decision to start dating my now husband. I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out had I not taken the decision to date someone from outside of my race. 

Read our interview on Cindy’s blog here: http://www.3kids2dogsand1oldhouse.co.za/2016/05/13/behind-the-scenes-of-a-mixed-race-family-the-matis/

Naming Thando Adam Mati

It’s been over a year since my last post (blush!) and to say a lot has changed in our lives would be an understatement! We got pregnant about 11 months ago, a VERY short time after deciding to start trying. After the initial shock wore off (it took a little while) the excitement set in. We found out at our 13 week scan that it was a little boy and almost immediately the name search was on! 

Madala

My father in law passed away on Wednesday and I’ve not experienced such a sense of loss since my grandfathers death almost 15 years ago. They were very similar – both very good men, who lived lives so very different to each other. 

Celebrating an education

Last night we attended a family function at my husbands aunts house to celebrate his cousin’s graduation. Said cousin’s parents had made the almost 12 hour, over 1000km drive to attend his graduation ceremony and to share their pride with the rest of the family. A mfundisi (minister) was present to pray over him, multiple speeches were made, stories of his upbringing told and copious amounts of food was eaten. This got me thinking – how did I celebrate my graduation?

#RhodesMustFall…and then what?

Twitter has been ablaze recently with #RhodesMustFall trending in South Africa. Besides having attending a university named after Cecil John Rhodes, I’m ashamed to admit that my historical knowledge of this illustrious man is sketchy at best. So I did a little reading and to be honest was relatively surprised at what I found out – this name that for me has long been synonymous with only positive has clearly got more to it than that.

So varsity really is more than just fun to some?!

I recently read and column posted in Mail and Gaurdian titled 6 things that white people have that black people don’t. Generally I tend not to read past the first few lines of articles like this because so many of them are just cringe worthy in their bias (I’m thinking back to another such article “naming and shaming” a list of restaurants for being racist, when it was clear that what they had in fact experienced was just plain old poor service) and blatent omission of facts. But this particular piece caught my eye and kept my attention.

When all you can do is Laugh out Loud

Driving back home to Cape Town from our December holiday (and weddings / honeymoon) we experienced what is sure to be the first of many race-related mix ups. My brother had joined us for the trip back and a few hours into the journey we stopped for coffee and breakfast. After he and I got our coffees we waited, alongside my husband, for our toasted sarmies.

Becoming Am’thabele

My husband (a word still relatively foreign to me) and I recently got married in not one, but two amazing celebrations. After 3 years dating, 9 months of engagements, countless hours of planning we are now husband and wife…or husband and makoti! Each wedding, both special and unique, served to bring not only us together, but also our families and cultures (Xhosa and English) – both recognized and honoured.